so furious right now can't upload pictures which ive been wanting to sigh forget it.
a lot of times i really do probe myself if am i making the right decisions, or that all of this was just the wrong door which i opened carelessly for myself and of which i know i'm gonna fall out of if it was the wrong door, the wrong path, the wrong step taken. not a clue on what the future has in store for me. what is even right for me. not gonna lie, i am so so afraid.

been trying my best to stay awake and concentrate during classes in hope for better grades and an improved gpa(tremendous improvement that is) :( and to further my studies. you know when you have no choice but to prove everyone wrong, every single one out there that looks down on me, thinking that what i have achieved thus far is all that i am. as much as i loathe hurtful comments especially from the people i love, i cant really do much because i pretty much leveled myself down to being a loser on the day i got back my o's result slip. how devastating it is to know that you yourself look down on yourself okay i might not be speaking any sense right now but please. not the least comforting. im not the worst, but i see myself as one as long as a failed scene in life approaches me. funny how i should have died from the umpteen loser tagged onto me but somehow im still alive.

i hate losing,i hate being second best. still remembered how i lost to someone i despised in math during primary school and i was so furious that i cried, how childish but seems like i hate a lot. just kidding xx

i hope this life becomes all that ive been wanting to do<3